“Perhaps we dont like what we see: our hips, our loss of hair, our shoe size, our dimples, our knuckles too big, our eating habits, our disposition. We have disclosed these things in secret, likes and dislikes, behind doors with locks, our lonely rooms, our messy desks, our empty hearts, our sudden bursts of energy, our sudden bouts of . Don’t worry. Put away your mirrors and your beauty magazines and your books on tape. There is someone right here who knows you more than you do, who is making room on the couch, who is fixing a meal, who is putting on your favorite record, who is listening intently to what you have to say, who is standing there with you, face to face, hand to hand, eye to eye, mouth to mouth. There is no space left uncovered. This is where you belong.”—Sufjan Stevens (via 24ribs)
I think I understand why I'm never ever ever in a relationship;
I’m socially awkward. I’m a nervous wreck. I say things that only seem to make sense to me. And if the rare occasion that someone actually gets what I’m saying I tend to shy away. I don’t know boundaries due to my upfront and honest attitude. I’m overly compassionate. I’m the girl you’d wanna take home to your Grandmother if you wanted time to yourself because I would spend hours talking to them. On the other side, I’m never interested in the people who seem to like me. You’ve never picked up a book. You hate cars. You listen to dubsteb. You wave your lifestyle up like a flag. You don’t appreciate the fine things in nature. You’re not funny. I can’t help that I have certain standards for people entering my life. I am not normal. I am strange. I am uncomfortable all the time. I need to take deeper breaths.
Today I am proud. Today I am sad. Today I have realized that I cannot have expectations. I can only process each day and the progress of my mind.
My mother was put in jail this morning for using another persons credit card. Felony.
Credit Card Fraud – Penalties
This crime or credit card fraud is a felony under Georgia law, and punishable by a fine of not more than $5,000 and 1-3 years of prison.
My father also just recently got oh his 5th DUI? Court date still pending. Might lose his nursing license and go to prison for a year.
You’re supposed to look up to your parents, right? Who will I look up to? That person has to be myself. “ All you have to do is let go of what is not true for you and let it in what is.””
I do not need a certain degree to be a good and moral person. I do not need a paper. I need my actions. And I swear to myself that I will love deeply and always be honest. I will not fall to an alteration of perspective due to a substance. I want only my mind to lead myself in a direction for reanalyzing situations and improving my state of being. And the lives of those I care about.
“My dictionary lists fourteen entries
for the verb quit, enough for a sonnet
on unrequited love. Most are rare, e.g.,
“to use one’s hands effectively” or “to let
go (something held).” Whatever else they meant
(to put in quiet, set free, absolve), quit,
quite & requite all carried this sentiment:
To pay back, to return the favor. Smit-
ten, I would strike you back, if I
could. Each night in my bed we fuck & fuck.
It doesn’t make you mine, or make it right.
But I won’t quit. I open my hands & shut
my mouth, my stuttered houses. I’m in your debt
and can’t get out. At least, not yet. Not quite.”—Rita Mae Reese, Smite, Smitten (via grammatolatry)